1992_12 The Daily Collegian December 1992

              1
•
2-Op/Ed
The Daily Collegian
December 2, 1992
Column 1
Graduating? I wouldn't
count on it. V
By Michael S. Handorf      •
Staff Columnist
As the semester comes scream¬
ing to a ha't, it is time to enlighten
a number of you. Hundreds, per¬
haps even thousands of students,
wi ll be applying for graduation
next semester.
I wish you the best of luck.
The pessimism thai weighs this
weekly column down is not going
to be any less apparent in the para¬
graphs to come. I sincerely apolo¬
gize for this, but to quote A. E.
Housman, "Malt can do more than
Milton can to justify God's way to
man."
But no amount of malt liquor,
Cisco, Bacardi or even Everclear
is going to help you fathom the
process by which the applications
for graduation are evaluated.
Certainly not by any objective
standard that can be referred to or
consulted. Forget what your coun¬
selors, e valuators, or catalogs
might indicate.
Why?    Be¬
cause exactly
mate how many people have told
me that they had their G.E. veri¬
fied, only to later be told that the
earlier evaluation was incorrecL
A biology student last semester
went to his counselor before he
enrolled in the spring. His coun¬
selor gave him the four classes
"that were all he needed to gradu¬
ate."
Being somewhat skeptical, this
same student went to an advisor,
who confirmed the counselor's
suspicions. Indeed, these four
classes would satisfy the biology
.student's graduation requirements.
However, our hero was still not
satisfied. He consulted with an
individual from the evaluations
office, and sure enough, these four
classes were the four he needed.
No doubt about iL
Three days after the last day to
add or drop classes, the phone rang.
Ourherowas informed that a grave
error had been made, and he actu¬
ally needed a fifth class and didn't
need
The catalogs exist only to
DE INTERPRETED BY THOSF
INDIVIDUALS RESPONSIBLE FOR
DECIDING WHETHER OR NOT
YOU ARE GOING TO CONTRIB¬
UTE ANOTHER $500 TO
$600 TO TOE UNIVERSITY TO
FINISH ...
lOOpercentof
the men and
women that I
have known
who have
graduated or
attempted to
do so have
had their
progress re¬
strained.
Just the
other day, I
ran into a stu¬
dent who I thought had graduated.
"W hat are you still doing in
Fresno?" I asked, realizing that
anyone with a degree from our
fine institution would have no
desire to remain in this city.
"The university f***ed mc,"
she replied. "I got a letter during
tbe middle of the .summer that
informed ye that I didn't fulfill all
my requirements. So here I am,
giving this god-damned school
more of my money."
'Stephanie' had walked through
theelaoorate ceremony at Selland
Arena and everything.
And don't bank on anything
you hear from the evaluations
office, either. It's like they are
training small farm animals over
there to determine whether or not
classes from junior colleges are
transferable. I can not even esti -
 u
:
This is one of those few areas in
which t don't have a solution
Normally, I can outline tbe prob¬
lem, identify the causes, and offer
at least some simple solution.
. But you're on your own here.
The bureaucracy on this campus is
too large to battle. The course
catalogs aren't even considered
iron-dad agreements.
The catalogs exist only to be
interpreted by those individuals
responsible for deciding whether
or not you are going to contribute
another $500 or $600 to the uni¬
versity to finish those final four or
fiveunits.
Read tlie catalogs. Where there
is room for interpretation, assume
that the people evaluating your
graduation request will interpret
Please see GRADUATE, page 3
■//A
)
Letters
Pride is
good, but
who cares?
DearEditor
Eureka! Michael Handorf fi¬
nally hit the nail on the head! His
column in the 11/25 edition of The
Daily Collegian deserves com¬
mendation.
His treatment of his pet project,
THE EDGE, shows a real sense of
pride in his own work. While I am
(as my recent letters to the editor
have suggested) openly critical of
Mr. Handorf s work in The Daily
Collegian, I anticipate eagerly each
new issue of THE EDGE I find
his newspaper witty, pompous, and
filled with sensationalist jouiTial-
ism;aRtishLimbaughoftheCSUF
print media.
My question is this: Why spend
ova a page in the Daily Collegian
to advertise your wares? Maybe
you spend some of your mega-
bucks that The Daily Collegian
pays you, for the purpose of broad¬
casting one of those infomercials
that were popularized by a diminu¬
tive billionaire who ran for presi¬
dent recendy? Jhaj would gener¬
ate support for your "politically
incorrect" pamphlet masquerad¬
ing as a newspaper.
While I commend your bold¬
ness for making a strong case for
reading the newspaper, I wonder if
the rest of us care. I suppose they
do, since THE EDGE is always a
hot topic. But it is not really in the
public interest; again a more per-.
sonal approach to promote the
newspaper is needed.
Believe me, Mike, we all know
where you're coming from. If the
support for your newspaper is as
rabid as you say it is (and I think
there is a great deal of it), there's
no need to cover your butt, OK?
David Mirhadi
.-/
COLLEGIAN
Aimee L. Fisher
Editor in Chief
Newt Editor Shannon Wentworth
Photo Editor Steve Skibbie
Sports Editor David Donnelly
Business Manager Shawnda Grice
Advertising & Ad Production Manager Lance Jackson
Artspeak Editor Manny Fernandez
Cartoonist: Ofir Levy
News Writers: Suzanne Andrews, Rosalba Bel tr an. Pat Bettencourt. Adam
Breen. Marlene Bryant, Aniic Goodrich, Suzanne Kayian, Mike Palmer,
Leah Peri ch
Photographers: Rector Amezcua. Oiristine Baker, Jeremy Cloud, Matt
Soby .      «* >
Sports Writers: Mark Bryant, Richard James, Shondell Reed, Todd Warshaw.
Advertising Representatives: Brendan Bailey, Keith Bolden. Laura Deck-
aid, Shawndak Grice, Shelby Stark, Kild^izlri. Peggy Yeyna. Jenny Young
Columnists: Adam Breen, Michael S. Handorf, Alkaiandria Polizzi, Mike
Palmer
.