1986_10 The Daily Collegian October 1986

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Ways to flavor minor, sports
Sting Like
a Bee
Jon Matsune
Do you ever wonder why sports like
football, baseball and basketball get all
the headlines while sports like tennis, golf
and figure skating are usually tossed into
the lesser read middle pages of the sports
section?
This occurs because football, baseball
and basketball share a competitive edge
that the other sports lack. If a linebacker
levels a quarterback after the whistle, he
can be sure that the offensive linemen are
going to hit him that much harder. In
baseball, a brushback pitch is an invitation
to a brawl and in basketball, the power
forward w ho throws elbows is guaranteed
to get elbows thrown back at him. AH
three of.these sports are governed by thc
"payback", rule, which is perhaps more
effective than the official guidelines.
Of course, this "justified aggression" is
never seen in tennis, golf or figure skating.
These sports are "gentlemanly" and they
do not require their participants to meet
their opponents in direct, face-to-face
competition. As a result, the "competitive
edge" is lost and news of tennis, golf and
figure skating almost always suffer a
horrible death to the most obscure parts
of the sports section.
But what if things were different? What
if tennis players, golfers and figure skaters
were as mean and nasty as their counter¬
parts in America's more popular sports?
Well, let's take a look.
.   SCENARIO ONE
Greg Norman smashes a beautiful drive
down the fairway at Augusta and Jack
Nicklaus, trailing by four strokes, decides
that he must intimidate the big Australian
in order to catch up. As Norman.strides
toward his last shot, Nicklaus, emerging
from the rough, shouts, "You're history,
you lousy Aussie, you're going to choke!
You should go play with Nancy Lopez,
you sorry wimp!"
Norman seems to take the verbal abuse
in stride, however, and he manages a
birdie on the 17th. On the last hole,
though, he decides to retaliate. Every time
Nicklaus puts his ball on the tee, Norman
walks up and kicks it off. The process
repeats itself 19 times before an infuriated
"Golden Bear" takes out his nine-iron and
whacks Norman upside the head. Norman
counters with a putter to the groin. A fight
breaks out; the referee ejects both players
from the tournament.
Led by Collins' putt,
golf team takes 2nd
at LSU Invitational
By Darryl Howerton «^
Sports Information
Fresno State's golf team picked up
were it left off last season by finishing
second in the season-opening LSU Na¬
tional Invitational at Baton Rouge
yesterday.
The Bulldogs, who were 13th in the
nation and Pacific Coast Athletic Assoc¬
iation champions last year, were one of
five squads in the 12-tearh, two-day
tournament that finished in the NCAA
Top 20 last spring.
"I'm very pleased with our finish,"
said Mike Watney. FSU golf coach.-EspeaalK'
since it was our first tournament. 1 .SI'
was just great — it was their tour¬
nament."
LSU showed just how good they
were by winning the competition by 20
strokes. The 16th ranked Tigers shot an
863, compared to the Bulldogs' 883.
Missisippi and Auburn finished tied
for third with 886 scores.
Ken Collins led the 'Dog attack,
playing well under the terrible weather
conditions. Collins pjaced sixth with a
218.
"Ken must have gone through six
wet gloves," said Watney. "It was rain¬
ing so hard. But he promised me he was
going to play well no matter what."
At last year's LSU National Invitational.
Collins sustained a wnst injur,'(tendonitis)
that forced him to miss the rest of the
season. He was able to get a hardship
red-shirt for his senior year.
Junior David Sutherland and Senior
All-American Tim Lousalout placed
14th and 18th, respectively with 222
and 223 scores. Seniors Kevin Suther¬
land (224) and Bob Swinnerton (229)
round out the Bulldog five.
at*%**W%l
a******-***"****"****"*
"LOVE WITHOUT HARM:
ITS SPIRITUAL BASIS"
FREE Christian Science Lecture
BY: Margaret M. Rennie, C.S.B. of Denver, Colorado
A Member of The Christian Science      f
Board of Leadership
*
ON: Saturday Oct. 4, 1986 at 3pm
SECOND CHURCH OF CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST
280 W. Shaw Ave Fresno
Child care provided
*A11 are w*|jnome
SCENARIO TWO
John McEnroe just can't get things
going against Ivan Lendl in the Wimbledon
finals. Down two sets to none and behind
4-1 in the third set, McEnroe lets loose.
Instead of trying to hit his shots past
Lendl, he begins to aim them at Lendl.
The process seems to work and McEnroe
is on the comeback trail. He wins the set
6-4 and jumps out to a 3-0 lead in the
fourth.
It's at this point that Lendl begins firing
some "brushback serves" of his own. By
the end of the set, which McEnroe wins
6-4, both players are badly bruised. In the
fifth set, things finally reach a breaking
point (no pun intended). Lendl nails
McEnroe in the gut with an overhand
smash, and the man known as "Superbrat"
charges the net. The two men exchange
forehands to the head. A fight breaks out;
the referee ejects both players from the
tournament.
SCENARIO THREE
Katarina Witt needs some darn good
scores to top Debbi Thomas at the World
Figure Skating Championships. Thomas,
though, is determined to stop this from
happening. Remembering that Witt called
her a "Floozie" at the competition two
days earlier, the American champion
figures that a little taunting would be to
her benefit.
During Witt's long program, Thomas
stands at the rail glaring. Everytime
Katarina looks her way, Debbi gives her
the middle finger. Unnerved, Witt blows a
triple jump and with it. her shot at the gold
medal. After pulling her backside off the
ice. the East German skates torridly
towards the rail and attacks Thomas. A
hockey game breaks out; the referee ejects
^both skaters from the competition.
Just imagine how popular tennis, golf
and figure skating would become if they
had "macho" athletes. Figure skaters
would be doing Lite Beer commercials,
tennis players would take the place of Lyle
Alzado in Sports Illustrated ads and golfers
would adopt a format similiar to that of
professional wrestling. More importantly.
all three sports would become top money¬
makers and nobody would go to football,
baseball and basketball games anymore.
Machoism is needed in every sport..
'I his is what allows the athletes to exert
their own control over a competition and''
limit the roles of the officials. That is why
tennis, golf and figure skating are not the
nation's most popular spectator sports:
nobody gets meavn and no one likes to see
meek athletes anymore.
OSBORN
Continued from page 9
game at the college level a little easier for
Osborn, but it was still difficult.
"At this level, everybody on every team
can score goals on you. In high school,
there were only a couple of players on
each team that you had to worry about.
It's much harder concentrating on a whole
team and the offenses are more complex,
too.
"1 think Fresno State has one of the
toughest schedules in the country and I
don't knowofany^eam that we can't piay
hadn't been doing."
Throughout the years. Osborn has
received support' from his family and
friends that has kept him playing thc
game.
"There have been a Jot of times that my
family sacrificed for me. Last year we were
in Oregon for my grandparents' 50th
anniversary and afterwards we drove to
Long Beach for my practice the next day.
My friends come to the games and that
really helps me out. It's great to have
rowdy fans cheering behind you."
Although his friends and family support
him, as a whole, water polo does not gef
the attention that other sports do. That
"I think Fresno State has one of the
toughest schedules in the country and I
don't know of any team that we can't play
with. All six losses have come against
teams in the Top 10."
Mike Osborn
Ca#^s*
with," said Osborn. "All six of our losses
have come against teams in the Top 10.
"If we play like l know we can, we can
beat anybody. We outplayed USC (cur¬
rently No. 2) and we beat UCLA (ranked
No. 2 before Sunday's loss to FSU)."
"I knew we would give UCLA a game-
after our loss to UC-lrvinc, we regrouped
and got ready for thc Bruins,. We played
intense for four quarters, something we
has yet to bother Osborn.
"I'd like to see it (water polo) get more
coverage, but I can't worry about that. I
think it's a real ccxiting sport. At FSU, we
do get decent, and that's one of the
reasons I came here.
"Thc support sold me on this school
and the community is great." Osborn said
about choosing FSU.
Associated Press' Top 20
1. Miami
2. Alabama
3. Nebraska
4. Michigan
5. Penn State
6. Oklahoma
7. Auburn
8. Arkansas
9. USC
10. Arizona
11. Iowa
12. Washington
13. Baylor
14. Texas A&M
15. UCLA
16. Arkona St.
17. Michigan St.
18. ISU  ^
19. Fresno St.
20. North Carolina St.
.